You're so nebulous sometimes
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
