how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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