I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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