seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
