Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
