Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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