ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
