john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
