Pants 0. Shit 1.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize