I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
