Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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