I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
