She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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