saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
