I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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