well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize