I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Randomize
