He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
