I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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