Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize