Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
there is glitter all over my balls
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize