If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
where am i from again
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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