Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
