so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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