I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
