I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I think my moral compass just broke
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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