Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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