He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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