Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
