quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
