Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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