i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
