You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
