He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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