hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
