Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
