apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
