after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
