she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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