Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
