I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
