Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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