Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
