i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
