never play flip cup with pint glasses
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
