Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
