I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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