Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
