Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Ladies don't puke and tell
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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