Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
