I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
