I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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