He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
