I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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