hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
