i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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