dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize