Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My balls are so social today.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
