brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
