...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
