4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
oh god the rape fog is back!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i drank out of a bidet.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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